The Beginner’s Guide to Self-Care as a Stay-At-Home-Mom

Mama, you matter.

Your needs are important.

Self-care is a gift of love not only to yourself, but also to your children, family and everyone you come in contact with. By prioritizing your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being you set yourself up for success by being more joyful, happy, patient, present and other wonderful ways of living.

Think of self-care as putting gas in the car and not waiting until you’re stuck on the side of the road with nothing left.

I’m talking burnout, depression, anxiety and far worst. Just a few of the costs of Not practicing self-care.

I speak passionately about self-care because I’ve been there. I use to think self-care was selfish. To be a great mom meant I had to put everyone’s needs first and get around to me last.

By the end of the day, I was too exhausted and empty to give myself much of anything. I usually collapsed in bed for a few hours before the baby woke up for the first of many times.

The next morning, I’d wake up exhausted with little to no zest for my day.

I was on autopilot. Surviving. Barely.

Frazzled

Reactive

Depressed

Resentful with children, family, friends and anyone asking for help.

Feeling guilt and shame for dreading my day and knowing I was so blessed to be a mom.

I looked for a different way to live. I knew I couldn’t keep going on this way.

I devoured article after article talking about self-care and gradually changed my stories to view self-care as vital to being the wonderful, loving mother I longed to be. A new way of living that allowed me to feel important and valuable by looking after my needs. Self-care allowed me to step into the mom I always wanted to be and thrive.

Self-Care is a Way of Living

• Self-care is vital to thriving as a mother and supporting your children and family in the most loving, nurturing way.
• Here’s some common misconceptions of self-care and rebuttals
  • It’s selfish. Quite the contrary by taking care of yourself you’re more able to be loving, patient and nurture your children. You’re demonstrating for your children how to take care of themselves as adults. Do you really want your children to sacrifice themselves as adults for everyone’s needs?
  • It’s time consuming and costs money. In just a minute or so, you can take a step to show yourself love. Ex. write down 1 thing you feel proud of yourself for, make yourself a warm mug of something delicious, read a page from you favorite book. Sure spas days are amazing, but you can practice self-care easily and for free at home.

Self-Care Brings Joy Back into Your Life and Motherhood

• Want to feel energized and ready for the day?
• Want to feel more present and connected with your loved ones, especially your children?
• Want to be able to respond to situations vs. reacting and saying or doing things you later regret?
  
  Before learning about what the heck self-care was, I was an exhausted mom just trying to make it through the day and get some sleep before doing it all over again. Who am I kidding – I didn’t even get a full night of sleep. I woke up every couple of hours to a hungry baby.
  
  I felt like a hamster on a never ending wheel. Joy? I experienced brief moments, but usually felt resentful, unappreciated and angry about always taking care of everyone else’s needs. Yet, I was too afraid to share with anyone for fear of being judged.
  
  I started searching online for support and wondering what was wrong with me. Why wasn’t I able to experience anything but joy and gratitude as a mama? As I read more articles, I realized how important it was to first take care of myself, so I could truly be there for my kids with an overflowing cup of love.
  
  One baby step at a time. I added 1 small self-care habit into my life. At the beginning, it meant making sure I ate 3 balanced meals and drinking plenty of water. I learned to say No to things because I knew it would make me feel spread to thin or neglect basic self-care like eating, showering and some quiet time.
  
  Gradually I incorporated more self-care habits that made me feel supported. I started noticing how I was showing up in life differently.
  
  I smiled.
  
  I had energy.
  
  I became more understanding and gracious with my children when they were having a rough day. I was present with my children and enjoyed our time together. Even more profound, I felt joyful again as a woman and mother.
  
  I’m here to say I’ve been there and I understand. This is a judgment-free place where we can vulnerably share the ups and downs of motherhood. I don’t want you to suffer and feel like you have to keep doing it all and sacrifice yourself because you’re a busy mama.
  
  Self-care is easy and doable. Say YES to
  
  Feeling more joy
  
  Having more energy
  
  Feeling like your needs matter
  
  Experiencing deeper connections with your children – just to name a few great benefits!
  
  The following will help you begin with adding self-care to your life.

How to get started with self-care

• You have everything you need right now to get started.
• Start with the basics of taking care of yourself
  • Shower
  • Eat three nourishing meals
  • Stay hydrated with water
  • Adequate sleep
  • Get dressed in something that makes you feel good
• Once you feel you’ve been able to meet your basic needs, then pick 1 from the following list each day and find which ones help you feel supported.
  • 10 deep breaths throughout your day
  • 5-10 minute mindfulness exercise
  • Mediation audio – YouTube is a great resource
  • Call a friend or family member to feel connected and supported
  • Listen to your favorite song
  • Dance party – include kids for extra fun
  • Go for walk
  • Exercise
  • Get outside
  • Soak up sunshine
  • Read a page from your favorite book or magazine
  • Have a cup of something hot and delicious
  • Do your nails
  • Get all dressed up just because
  • Journal
  • Write in gratitude journal

How to be successful with self-care

• Start small
• Take care of your basic needs first, then add in 1 or more ways to deepen your self-care
• Think of self-care as a commitment to yourself and your family – not another To-Do List
• Find what works for you to feel at your best
• CELEBRATE each self-care action you take!
• CELEBRATE YOU MAMA!!!!

Frequently Asked Questions

Conclusion

I hope this article helps you shift your mindset of self-care from selfish to an act of love to everyone. I really want you to value yourself and the mazing work you do as a mother. Self-care is vital to being a thriving mama. In summary:

• Self-care is not selfish.
• Self-care is a gift of love to your family and yourself
• Self-care is easy, doable and free

Please comment below with what self-care practice you do to support yourself feeling your best. Much love to you mama!!!!